This past summer I've several hard talks with long time friends. Talks over why it's gotten so much harder to stay connected like we used to. In every conversation it was agreed that part of the struggle is families grow, change and actual take over at times.
Jobs have changed and responsibilities have increased with the job changes. That is a blessing a a curse at times me and my friends have found out.
We all know that friends change over the course of a life time, it just doesn't make it any easier to see once strong relationships die a slow death. No one is to blame and yet everything is to blame. Life moves at mach 5 and relationships suffer. Each of the friendships agreed that each of us have said "no" to possible get togethers or have had stuff just pop up.
On the other hand I have reconnected with several old friends through Facebook and our website. It's been fun and exciting to reconnect, hear how life is and dream of actually seeing some of these "old friends" face to face again. But to do that, I'll have to say no to other friends.
Finally, I love meeting new people making new friends. But as each new person comes into my life, there is less and less for other friends. Not all friends need to be "deep friends." But those "deep friendships" must be protected.
I rant on this, because I have no easy solutions. Maybe you do.
I am a people person... for better or whose that will always create a blessing and a curse.
If you read this and see yourself as one of those "lost" friends or "weaken friendships"... understand it's nothing personal.
You are still loved, needed and valued.
Generis
About Me
- Rich
- Rich Bontrager serves as the lead Pastor of Journey Church in Rochester, MN, which is focused at reaching young adults. Rich is church planter at heart and has a dream of seeing more churches planted along Interstate I-90 (MN & Iowa). In 2009 Journey planted the Crux Church in Faribualt, MN and in the fall of 2011 Journey will give birth to it’s second daughter church in Stewertville, MN. Rich loves to travel and speak with young adults about boldly making an impact in the world today for Christ. In 2010 Journey opened up the Uturn Coffeehouse & Event Center. Rich and his wife Cyndi, have three daughters Abbi, Sarah and Hannah.
1 comment:
Rich, I also find this very difficult...I love to remain connected to old friendships, but know that for growth, I must make new friendships as well. And the fear that this will alienate old friends is quite real for me. If I had to choose a "Sex And The City" charachter I think I am like, though...It would be Samantha...with the exception, of course..about the sex! One of Samantha's best qualities is her loyalty to her friends, and I have also felt loyal to so many...probably too loyal at times for my own good. I think we should pray that a good balance of love and compassion abound for those at Journey, and that...as always...newcomers feel this love and compassion and are able to use it to turn around their lives to Jesus!
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